ATHEIST 1
I’ll believe in anything,
That’s always been my way.
I’m prepared to hear
what Christians have to say.
But, aren’t they hypocrites,
always talking about sins?
My philosophy is, run
before the lecture begins!
I’m good, so I know,
when I finally die,
I’ll become a god
and float ’round the sky.
(pause)
If I am wrong,
how will I tell?
I guess I will know
when I’m burning in Hell.
ATHEIST 2
I’ll believe in anything,
So don’t bug me now.
I can follow the stars and worship a cow.
But there wasn’t an ark,
I don’t believe in ‘The Flood’,
And who could get saved
by a Jewish man’s blood?
That’s too complicated,
the bible’s too colossal.
It’s easier to believe
that I came from a fossil.
I’m not sure how
this fits in with creation,
maybe I’ve got
a weird imagination.
ATHEIST 3
Some say I’m daft to think
I evolved from an ape,
but I know they’re my ancestors –
you can tell by my shape.
I’ve bonded with these animals,
they put me at ease,
as they beat their chests
and swing through the trees.
I want to scratch my armpits,
eat bananas by the dozens.
When I visit the zoo,
I can see that they’re my cousins.
So, I was ecstatic
and rather elated,
when Mr Darwin told me
I wasn’t created.
(pause)
But, sometimes, I’m scared
and I get into a state,
at the thought that, one day,
I just might mutate.
ATHEIST 4
I’ll believe in anything,
I’ll learn from the tribes,
I’ll watch their traditions,
then pick up the vibes.
I’ll add a bit of truth
to make it seem authentic,
but, listen to those Christians?
Man no! They’re eccentric!
What’s all this jargon
about ‘The power of the cross’?
What’s this about humility?
I want to be my own boss!
You see, I know best –
you’re not strapping me down.
Give my life to Jesus?
Do you think I’m a clown?
Oh, I’ll sing and I’ll clap,
I’ll dance and I’ll chant,
I’ll worship a mad man
and call up my dead aunt.
God speaks through the Bible,
but that’s not enough.
I’d rather waste time
doing foolish stuff.
ATHEIST 5
I’ll believe in anything,
anything at all.
I believe in the ‘Big Bang’
but not in ‘The Fall’.
Who is so stupid
to say they believe
in the Garden of Eden
and Adam and Eve?
And what about Noah?
that ark-building stud?
What happened to the water
after the flood?
Don’t tell me it vanished
into thin air.
Stories about miracles
are things I can’t bear.
(pause)
But, when I’m in pain
and in need of a cure,
a touch from above
is welcome, I’m sure.
There’s nothing like suffering,
that makes me feel
there’s a God in Heaven
who is able to heal.
ATHEIST 6
I saw a one-eyed alien
at the bus-stop last week.
He was very handsome.
I tried to get him to speak.
I’d love to make contact
and find their air-base.
Maybe they’ll invite me
to join them in space.
Surely the universe
was made for exploring.
Having just Earth,
is really quite boring.
The alien disappeared.
I never saw him again.
Must be those pills
I was taking for migraine.
ATHEIST 1
I believe in UFOs
and reincarnation.
With horses, I have
a great affiliation.
I believe in ouija boards
They are such a blast!
One said I was a stallion
in my distant past.
It is harmless fun,
that gives me a thrill.
But now I’m hearing voices
telling me to kill.
ATHEIST 2
I feel there’s an energy
in the atmosphere.,
and the flow can stop
just by moving my chair.
Some say it’s silly
to Feng Shui my room,
but it really does help
to reduce my gloom.
I’m a Ying and Yang disciple
with firm dedication,
(Cups hand over mouth like he’s telling a secret)
(that’s why my doctor’s put me
on stronger medication.)
I’ll keep the toilet seat down,
I’ll put my bed on the roof,
But Jesus is Lord?
No, no, I need proof!
Sometimes, I look at nature
and think, ‘How was this made?’
But I’m an unbeliever
who you won’t persuade.
ALL
I don’t believe in Jesus
because my eyes have been blinded,
but, I’ll believe in anything
because I’m open-minded.
(pause)
NARRATOR
The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” (Psalm 14:1)
The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)
-The End-
