There are two groups of people I would like to dedicate the next few pages to. Single Christians who are patiently waiting on God for the right spouse and those who give up their ordinary lives to do overseas mission work. In particular, my focus is on single females and long-term ministry, but single men and short-term mission workers are just as significant here.
You’ve done everything. You’ve been proactive in ensuring you are as outwardly attractive as suits you, without being desperate, obsessively vain or tarty. There’s nothing wrong with your personality – you are not socially awkward, over-bearing, uninteresting or downright boring. On top of that, you are highly intelligent and have a great sense of humour.
The thirties are almost over and because you have a soft, loving heart, the tick tocks in your ear are very loud.
Some of you have already celebrated your big four-zero and unlike the popular phrase, people are insinuating that your life has not yet begun, because you are still not part of a couple.
Back to the tick tocks: You want to be young enough to bear a healthy child. You want to be spritely enough to skip to playschool with them, not hobble on a stick. You want to be fit enough to give them at least one sibling. And you want to have been married long enough to have had some fun years as a couple before screams, midnight feeds, nappies and pureed vegetables are gracing your home.
But this future husband is nowhere to be seen. Your non-Christian mates think you’re a prude. And arrogant. Your family think you are selfish and fussy. Your Christian family sometimes aren’t much better, and you’re fed up with being mentally matched-up with every guy you are seen having a friendly chat with. If you are ever spotted sitting next to a single chappie in church without an empty seat between you, smiles, whispers and stares, intensify. Oh, if only you’d remembered to plonk your bible and phone and sunglasses and car keys and notebook and hymnbook and jacket down on that offending chair!
God honours integrity during the wait – that is godly patience. God also honours your complete surrender to his will. My prayer for you is that you don’t give in to the snide comments or blatant mockery. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are single because you have opted to do the right thing – to be strong enough to leave things in God’s hands and not try to intervene in his divine plan for your life. That will bring a reward far greater than you can ever imagine.
Anyone can rush down the aisle.
Anyone can pop out offspring 2 years apart.
Anyone can hop into bed with someone they’re not married to, driven by the misconception that they’re missing out.
But impatience produces heartache far sour than the pain of feeling rejected or loveless. Impatience draws out decree nisi paperwork, single parent status, illegitimate children and severe regret.
So, my dear single sisters and brothers, take no notice of people’s opinions. You are doing the right thing and God is very pleased with you for your patience and reliance on him to guide your life.
*****
You Told Me
You told me:
“Don’t waste your dreams
Guessing what is my plan.
Don’t waste your time thinking,
‘Where is my man?’
Too many people
Just cannot wait.
Now they are stuck
In a marriage they hate.”
*****
You told me:
“Beware to the Devil,
For he likes to shock,
Saying you haven’t much time
On your body clock.
But I made the mountain
That I told you to climb.
I made your body
And I control the time.”
*****
You told me:
“Don’t worry about the years,
For, I made the seasons.
You’re not married yet
But stop looking for reasons.
You won’t be forgotten,
I’ve heard your request.
Remember I said
That my will is best.”
*****
You told me:
“Ignore the contempt
And all that they say.
As you’re getting older,
They suggest that you’re gay.
Or, they say it’s your fault,
As you’ve had so much choice.
Despite the varied comments,
It’s all the Devil’s voice.”
*****
You told me:
“It’s right to wait,
It’s right to obey,
Even if that means,
You’re still single today.
You walk through the park,
A couple are kissing.
Satan comes up and whispers,
‘Just look what you’re missing!’”
*****
You told me:
“Continue down the road,
With me by your side.
Do not be ashamed,
There’s no need to hide.
Whatever lies ahead,
There will be the day,
You were glad you decided,
To listen and obey.”
