Welcome to part 2 of, “Why You Make God Smile…”. In Volume 1, there was a poem that began,

There’s coffee in the sugar,

There’s mould on the ham,

Toast crumbs in the margarine,

And butter in the jam.

I really do hate seeing little brown lumps mingling amongst the sugar crystals. I get annoyed that the previous user didn’t bother to fetch a clean spoon after dipping it in the coffee jar. But of course, I too have annoying habits and those who live with me are probably driven crazy by things I do.

None of us are perfect, and I take great delight in reminding you once more that Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.

Some of the chapters in this book are true stories about imperfect people who had an encounter with a very real God, who accepted them as there were, then changed them into the person they were created to be. It also focusses on certain tragedies of life that break his heart: sickness, bereavement, loneliness, rejection, fear, war, betrayal, hatred and unbelief.

I hope you find something you can identify with and that it blesses you greatly. Often when we read about difficult situations, somebody comes to mind whom we think would benefit from the encouragement. Therefore, feel free to pass this book onto your friends, relatives and acquaintances if you know they would be uplifted by any poems or stories.

Much love,

If you knew a fatherly billionaire who lived in a massive castle with many rooms decorated in the most opulent materials, wouldn’t you be pleased to join him if you had been invited? Wouldn’t you be even more excited to go if you knew your friends and all your loved-ones were already there?

But the doom and gloom stuff is important to know about first, because going to a glorious place is one thing, knowing that you are only there because you have been saved from a stinking dungeon, makes it all the more glorious.

Yes, we need to encourage each other about the prospect of Heaven. But it is essential to be aware of what we have been saved from, so I make no apology for all the Hell stuff above.

Now that’s over, let’s console ourselves with the truth – no matter how dreadfully awful this life is, one day it will all be over, and we will have lasting joy.

Well, what more can I say? Congratulations! See you soon.

Heaven

When we take that final breath

Do we know what awaits?

Will we be greeted by our loved-ones?

Will they be cheering by the gates?

When we walk through the gardens

Will there be a smile on every face?

When we step upon the flowers

Will they spring back into place?

I know we will be happy.

Characters will be refined.

We’ll gladly do the work

To which we’ve been assigned.

*****

Will anyone be frowning?

No, all will be at ease,

Not anxious or worried,

Not crippled with disease.

All aborted children

That were cruelly disowned,

Will feel wanted, loved and happy,

But will they be fully grown?

Whatever the age they look,

Of one thing I am sure,

No rejection will be felt

For, they will be secure.

*****

Loneliness wont exist,

Neither will depression.

No more wars to make us sad,

No more violence and oppression.

Wild animals will graze,

Amongst those who are tame.

People of different races

Will act like they’re the same.

No hatred, no jealousy,

No selfishness, nor pride,

We will gladly love each other,

Living side by side.

*****

God’s presence will be felt,

Within the gentle breeze.

As his spirit passes by,

Will we fall to our knees?

Will we realise how much

We didn’t know about him?

Will we regret to know how much

We lived our lives without him?

When we see the face of Jesus,

And we fall prostrate on the floor,

Is it then that we will realise

We should have trusted him more?

*****

The sun will not be needed

Jesus will be the light.

No shadows shall be formed,

Heaven shall be so bright.

When we stroll through the city,

What will we behold?

Will rainbow colours glisten,

On the streets paved with gold?

Will those who suffered for Jesus,

Because they called him Lord,

Be walking round in triumph,

Holding a great reward?

Will songs rise into the air

Like a hot balloon?

As we fill our mouths with praises,

Will each one know the tune?

Hands will raise in adoration,

Feet will be swift as all take part,

In dancing with the angels,

As joy flows from each heart.

*****

Some things we know already

For the bible has imparted

A little knowledge about his world

To help those who are downhearted

He gives us blessed hope

To keep our spirits high,

And to tell others who don’t know him

What will happen when we die.

Hellish doom and gloom

Doesn’t have to be impending.

You can have a better future

And experience a better ending!

*****

There’s room enough for everyone,

Who’s still on Earth today.

He wants you to get there,

Don’t be pulled the other way.

Heaven was made by God

To live with his creation.

He looks forward to the time,

You’ll join the celebration.

No matter our scorn, shock, or disdain for these wicked acts, we need to come to the realisation that we have the same potential to do all of the above, unless we are surrendering our lives to the control of Jesus, daily.

So, not only could it be anywhere, it could be anyone. You and I were born in sin and entered a world where the devil ruled in our hearts until Jesus forgave us when we repented of our *wrongdoings. (*See previous chapter for the definition of ‘sin’.)

That’s the only difference between Christians and those who are not. I’m not referring to people who claim they are Christians, but those who actually practice what they preach.

Over the years, many people have claimed to be followers of Christ, but have tortured and killed the opposition, sexually abused children, stole money from their church congregation and had illicit affairs behind the back of their wives.

It’s some of these people who you are thinking of when you say in your heart, “Man, they’re hypocrites!” and yes, you are right – those ones are. They are no more Jesus disciples than Adolf Hitler was.

However, we cannot use the excuse of wolves in sheep’s clothing when we stand before God after we have died. Yes, my friend, you will be there at his feet whether you believe it or not.

We all have to give an account of how we lived our lives here on earth and what we did about the truth of Jesus being the saviour of the world.

Make no mistake, every hardworking nun, every self-sacrificing charity worker, every generous philanthropist, every doting foster carer, every humble missionary worker, every skilful children’s doctor, every patient psychiatric nurse, every caring person who takes in stray animals, will have to answer for how they lived their lives, and no amount of good works will be able to save them from Hell.

“Oh here we go, the hell and damnation talk of the fanatic Jesus freak!”

Put simply, Hell was never made for human beings. It is the place set aside for Satan and his demonic cohorts. But God did not just grant us the gift of life – he also granted us the freewill choice of whom to serve. There are only two masters: Jesus or Satan, so:

which one are you serving?

If you have not repented of your sin, that means, acknowledged that you were born with the nature to do things that displease a holy God, and need to be cleansed of these sins, then you are certainly travelling on the wrong road.

The good news is that God has made it easy to get yourself right with him. He sent Jesus into this world to pay the penalty that we could not pay – the penalty of our transgressions. That is why he suffered torment and died on the cross. His sacrifice was the once and for all payment for the things we have done wrong.

“But I haven’t done anything wrong!”

The bible says, “…for everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” (Romans 3:23)

We have all lost our temper, been disobedient to our parents, stolen an item, laughed at a crude joke, been selfish, proud and uncaring. We have called people names, told a lie, used bad language and lusted after things that belonged to somebody else. We have been greedy and gluttonous by eating more than we needed and not been satisfied with what we have got, but rather been jealous of somebody else’s success or possessions. Most of all, we have lived a life independent of God, by not turning to him for guidance. Lastly, we have broken at least one of the Ten Commandments found in Exodus 20, and by being guilty of just one of them, we are considered guilty of the lot.

Sorry to be so morbid, but this is the truth: you could die at any moment before having the chance to put things right with God, so please don’t delay. I am not on any divine commission – it doesn’t work that way. I tell you because Jesus puts his love in our hearts to care about where you will end up after death strikes.

There will always be people who will never turn to God and will happily die in their unforgiven evil state. Any one of those people could be planning to plant a bomb. It could be anywhere. Your nation, your county/state/province, your neighbourhood, your street.

Or, there may be some kind of malfunction in your body or brain that renders you to suddenly collapse and die unexpectedly. Again, it could be anywhere.

Well, I don’t know what will be the cause of your last breath. Though, one thing is for certain. This phrase cannot be used to describe what happens to people when they die. Deceptive people will shrug and say, “Don’t worry, nobody knows where you will go when you die, it could be anywhere.”

No, it could not.

You will end up in either Heaven or Hell.

I urge you to make the right choice before it is too late.

Death is traveling at rapid speed around the world, touching, millions per second.

And right now…it could be anywhere.

Here’s a prayer you can pray to make things right:

Dear God,

I am sorry for the wrong things I have done in my life, which you call sin.

I acknowledge that I was born a sinner, which means that it’s in my nature to do things that displease you. I know that this includes the deepest thoughts and attitudes of my heart and the real motives behind everything I do.

Please forgive me for those sins and especially for the sin of keeping you out of my life.

Even though you love me, I know that because you are a God of justice and holiness, if I die without having my sins forgiven, I will spend eternity without you, in a terrible place called Hell.

I acknowledge that I need you and I want you in my life.

I believe that Jesus Christ is your son and that he died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins. I believe he rose again and is the living power that can take the Devil’s hold off my life. Please come into my life now and touch my heart with your forgiveness and love.

I want to have a relationship with you and to get to know you more. I believe that my very being was created for this purpose and without you, my hunger for peace and happiness will never be satisfied.

I give you my life now. Please lead me to people who will help me become a good, strong Christian and who will show me how to relate to the things of God. Help me to find a bible that suits my understanding and a church that I can call home.

I believe by faith now, that you have answered my prayer. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

I’m not going to play games with you. There will be no holding back so that you read this to the end. The word I am referring to is Hell.

More people are offended by this word than any other. Even some who profess to be a follower of Jesus find this word uncomfortable. They are scared people will hate them for saying their butt will burn if they don’t change their heart.

Think of two of your scariest fears. Even though there may be practical things you can do to prevent them from happening, you know deep down that you have no power at all to protect yourself. Millions in your bank account can pay for the best doctors and the most advanced medical treatment, but that is no guarantee against an aggressive form of Cancer that is already eating away at your organs. State of the art CCTV, electric fences and quadruple deadbolt locks cannot give you peace of mind that somebody isn’t already in your house, hiding behind the wardrobe. You lie in bed hearing low breathing noises and imagine being bludgeoned to death by a Houdini intruder who scaled past your wall of highest voltage. No amount of Valium will bring you peace. Kiss the bible all you like – it’s not a Harry Potter charm. You need to read it and do what it says.

So, here’s some Christian jargon to help you on your way:

Sin / transgressions/ iniquity / unrighteousness / ungodliness

Sin in it’s simplest form, is living a life independently of God. But it is more than just ignoring him and it’s more than just murder. Sin is willingly or unintentionally doing or thinking something that displeases God. It is also refraining from doing the right thing. It can be obvious, such as a wrongdoing that warrants civil punishment because in the country where you committed the crime, it was considered against the law. Theft, murder, rape, fraud, drug dealing are some of the most common ones. But a large variety of other actions / inactions also count as sin, such as: jealousy, pride, arrogance, gluttony, drunkenness, indifference to people’s needs, selfishness, selfish ambition, unforgiveness, lust, rage, bitterness, revelling, perverted sexual activity, lack of self-control, bad attitudes, judgmentalism, criticism, unbelief, gossiping, laziness and  *idolatry. (*worshipping a possession, person or pastime, to the point that they are in a higher regard in your mind than God is.)

As you can see, living without God’s spirit to guide us and help us, makes it impossible to please him and even when we give our lives over to him, we still need his strength to help us daily live a life that brings him honour.

Even an innocent baby has an inbred proclivity to sin and that is why they have tantrums, and refuse to share their toys. It is because all mankind were born as sinners, and nobody can make themselves right with God without first acknowledging that they are in need of his forgiveness.

Sin originates from satan – the devil – and he often is the one who tempts us to disobey God. Other sins come from our own minds and hearts as we allow ourselves to be enticed. Our degenerate world is the other entity that causes us to dishonur Godin our thoughts and deeds.

Sin is a power that will never give up. It wants to control us. Even Christians struggle daily, especially with wanting to gratify our feelings and appetites for comfort, perverting our natural desires, working on what we see, and how important something makes us feel. It works on the mind, seeking to bring us back into captivity by enticing us with what it knows our natural beings love.

We all want to look great, feel great, do great things and be thought of as great.

The good news is, that God has made it extremely easy for humans to put things right and come back into his presence once more, and be completely clean.

Religious groups in Jesus’ day tried to deceive people into thinking they had to perform loads of rituals and sacrifices in order to be spiritually cleansed, and this deception is still practiced all around the world, under various religions.

God never intended for anybody to go through rigorous sacrifices in order to get into his good books. He simply sent Jesus to die in our place as the once and for all sacrifice for our sins.

So, you don’t have to cut your skin, wear ragged clothes, live in deprivation, or starve yourself to win his favour. It won’t anyway, because those activities are not part of his plan for salvation.

Holiness

God is perfect, righteous, holy. He has to punish sin. Just how like a decent parent would chastise their 14-year-old son who crept out the house, stole the car, drove to a wild party, crashed the car on the way home, then laughed about it, God needs to do something about our disobedience to him.

Punishment

If someone was facing a long-term prison sentence for murdering your child or pet, would you be okay if the judge changed his mind and let him off with a small fine?

We are all guilty of breaking God’s rules and causing him sorrow. We can never match up to his standards, that is why we are called sinners and that is why we deserve to pay the penalty for our wrong doings, no matter how nice we think we are.

Repentance

This is being so truly sorry for our sin that we make the decision to completely turn- around from the way we were going, to walk in the other direction, relying on the help of Jesus to keep going. It is recognising that the state we are in is going to lead to destruction. It’s like thinking we are okay while heading towards a deep crocodile pit, then realising we have deceived ourselves into thinking we were walking towards a shallow ditch of hamsters. A wise person will turn around and run the other way.

Hell

Imagine being in agony and the intensity of it never subsiding? Imagine you couldn’t even faint to forget the pain? Imagine a darkness so dark, screams so loud, loneliness so intense, fear so frightening, but there was no way out? Like a nightmare you could never wake up from? That is Hell, but God did not make that dammed place for you. It’s for the Devil, but if you chose to continue going his way, you will end up residing there with him. It is a place where God is not present, so there is only evil. No matter how bad this world can be, God is still in our midst, creating light and beauty and miracles of life and peace and hope. Hell is devoid of anything good.

The Devil and demons

The Bible never describes him as a red creature with horns, forked tail and pitchfork. Nor does it say he has a scary face. On the contrary, before the Devil was kicked out of God’s realm for being too proud, he was very close to God and therefore one of the most beautiful beings. He was responsible for leading worship to God and musical instruments were part of his body. He knew how beautiful he was and over-stepped the mark by trying to take God’s place. For his vanity, pride and arrogance, he was banished from Heaven forever and he took a few angels with him who are now referred to as demons because they are his stupid little cohorts.

The Devil knows that if he comes to you and says, “Here, take this, do this, say this, because I want it to make you addicted, obsessed, ruin your relationships and cause you to feel so bad about yourself you will never go to God for forgiveness.” you would resist. But he is a great deceiver and temps you with what looks good. And for a while, it seems like it is. Like a lion who closes his eyes pretending to be asleep while he is really planning to eat you alive, the Devil will try to appear harmless and cute. He is not. He hates you and wants you take you with him to Hell.

Salvation / being saved.

Being forgiven of our sins. Jesus forgave us when he died on the cross, but we have to then accept his gift of salvation by repentance. We are saved from punishment of our sins, the devil’s hold on our life and from spending an eternity in Hell.

Judgement Day

I don’t own a wooden sandwich board. We laugh at the thought of a miserable old man adorning a heavy block that has, ‘The end is nigh!’ written on the front and back while he paces forlornly down the road. But there is a time when we all will have to stand before God and give an account of how we lived our life. That’s going to happen more quickly than we realise. I mean, do you know if you will be alive in the next 60 minutes? 60 hours? 60 days? Six months?

Nobody wants to admit that they know the sandwich board guy. If he’s a relative or member of our church, we’ll claim we have nothing to do with him because he is crazy. But despite his odd attire, he’s right. Our end is just around the corner, so we need to sort out our souls before it’s too late.

Your own choice

Friends, I make no apology for repeating myself. The choice has been left to us. You may be holding back because you don’t want your boyfriend to leave you or your dad to disinherit you or your friends to mock you or your mother to abandon you. But just like you came into this world on your own, you will die alone. You will face God on your own. No disrespect to your loved-ones, but they are not worth risking your soul for.

God will not force anybody to accept his free gift. It’s up to you – yes or no – accept or reject – Jesus or Satan – salvation or damnation – peace or torture – Heaven or Hell.

Open My Ears

Someone dies and I dress in black,

Then I say a polite farewell.

Open my ears to hear the cries

Of souls being dragged into Hell

*****

My friend has holiday homes

In Australia and Dubai.

She loves her comfy life.

I’ve never seen her cry.

*****

He says God is for the weak,

And Jesus is for wimps.

A laugh is heard from Satan,

His demons and his imps.

*****

So obsessed with their lifestyles,

They cannot see the map

That shows their souls are heading,

Straight towards his trap.

*****

While she buys another handbag,

While he polishes his car,

They can’t see they’re in the water,

And have waded out too far.

*****

Someone dies and I dress in black,

Then I say a polite farewell.

Open my ears to hear the cries

Of souls being dragged into Hell.

*****

His business plan is nothing

When it’s in a brain that’s dead.

Her dresses are now worn

By someone else instead.

*****

I only see the world around me.

And I hear no constant wailing,

Of souls who are stuck in Hell,

Whose agonies are prevailing.

*****

My friend’s in a lovely house,

I see no demons on her wall.

I know she loves her life,

So, I pay no attention at all.

*****

She goes to see a clairvoyant,

And pays her for some advice,

But wisdom about salvation

Was not included in the price.

*****

She was told about her past,

To make her believe the rest,

So, deception was quite easy,

And she came home quite impressed.

*****

Now she was ecstatic,

But while in the bloom of youth,

She died only three weeks later,

Because she wasn’t old the truth.

*****

Someone dies and I dress in black,

Then I say a polite farewell.

Open my ears to hear the cries

Of souls being dragged into Hell.

*****

At the funeral, I sing some hymns

Like the ones we sang at school.

The vicar says, “She’s now at peace.”

Satan says, “She’s with me you fool!”

*****

Death, death, death.

You cannot just avoid it.

But you can take out insurance

With the man who has destroyed it.

*****

When you die, your soul lives on,

With a smile or grinding teeth.

You either go up to Heaven,

Or be tortured way beneath.

*****

Oh, give me more compassion

For those who need to hear

The truth of where they’re going,

When their last heartbeat draws near!

*****

Someone dies and I dress in black,

Then I say a polite farewell.

Open my ears to hear the cries

Of souls being tortured in Hell.

“There will even come a time when anyone who kills you will think he’s doing God a favour.” John 16:2 (TM)

God doesn’t instruct people to harm one another because they differ in opinion.

If you come away from this book no more convinced that Jesus is Lord and that you need him in your life, God is not going to get offended and order me to fill a rucksack with explosives. God love you whether you believe in him or not, whether you accept Jesus is his son or not.

He doesn’t contradict his nature. He is a loving God and just like how a father will be annoyed at their children for scribbling on the living room walls, but his heart warms when he thinks about how much he still loves them, God cares about everybody despite their beliefs.

He does not want me to kill you, nor hate you, nor dislike you, nor mock you.

There are many false gods who people worship, and some may have even got their lives right with the god of the universe before they died. God instructs us to tell people the truth about his love, not attack them for seeing things differently and if anyone ever persecutes you for struggling to believe in Jesus, they are not believing in Jesus themselves.

Some Christians are scared to ‘rock the boat’ by declaring the truth outright. The truth that, Jesus is God – the only one who can save your soul from Hell. I say that not out of arrogance, but urgency. If you care about having your car, house, possessions, pets, holidays and health insured, you certainly should think about the most important thing that you could lose – your ticket to Heaven which is also your guarantee to stay out of Hell. Please insure your soul before it’s too late.

The Only King

Buddha may be in Heaven,

Hare Krishna, as well.

If they gave their lives to Jesus,

Then they both escaped Hell.

If all the so-called ‘prophets’,

Monarchy and Popes,

Made Christ the answer

To their dreams and hopes,

If they acknowledged he was Lord,

And God’s only son,

If they repented of the evil

They had said and done,

They would have been forgiven

For their every sin,

Heaven will have opened

And gladly let them in.

They would now be living

With God on high,

And praising Jesus,

When he passes by.

Many religious leaders

Have left a legacy of thoughts,

But true enlightenment comes from

All that Jesus taught.

Only Jesus is alive,

So, when you pray that is why,

Your hero cannot hear you

And you get no reply.

Only Jesus hears

Every word – every sigh,

He’s the only comfort

When tears fall as you cry.

All gurus, teachers

Have died and passed away,

No blood pumps through their veins

So, they’re silent when you pray.

There are religions by the thousands,

Sending minds into a haze,

But we can’t reach the Creator

In many different ways.

Jesus died on the cross,

Rising in three days.

He is the only one

Who deserves our love and praise.

If we look to others for help,

God is deeply grieved,

If we trust in them to save our souls

We are greatly deceived.

There are many up in Heaven,

But please hear this one thing…                                                                                      

Despite the crowds in Paradise,

Jesus is the only King.

Jesus is the only one

Who sits up on the throne,

You can reach your Holy God

Through Jesus Christ alone.

I’ll Believe in Anything

I’ll believe in anything,

That’s always been my way.

I’m prepared to hear

What Christians have to say.

But, aren’t they all hypocrites,

Always talking about sins?

My philosophy is, run

Before the lecture begins!

I’m good, so I know,

When I finally die,

I’ll become a god

And float ’round the sky.

If I am wrong,

How will I tell?

I guess I will know

When I’m burning in Hell.

*****

I’ll believe in anything,

So, don’t bug me now.

I can follow the stars

And worship a cow.

But there wasn’t an ark,

I don’t believe in ‘The Flood’,

And who could get saved

By a Jewish man’s blood?

That’s too complicated,

The bible’s too colossal.

It’s easier to believe

That I came from a fossil.

I’m not sure how

This fits in with creation,

Maybe I’ve got

A weird imagination.

*****

Some say I’m daft to think

I evolved from an ape,

But I know they’re my ancestors –

You can tell by my shape.

I’ve bonded with these animals,

They put me at ease,

As they beat their chests

And swing through the trees.

I want to scratch my armpits,

Eat bananas by the dozens.

When I visit the zoo,

I can tell they’re my cousins.

So, I was ecstatic

And rather elated,

When Darwin told me

I wasn’t created.

But, sometimes, I’m scared

And I get into a state,

At the thought that, one day,

I just might mutate.

*****

I’ll believe in anything,

I’ll learn from the tribes,

I’ll watch their traditions,

Then pick up the vibes.

I’ll add a bit of truth

To make it seem authentic,

But, listen to those Christians?

Man no! They’re eccentric!

*****

What’s all this jargon

About ‘The power of the cross’?

What’s this about humility?

I want to be my own boss!

You see, I know best –

You’re not strapping me down.

Give my life to Jesus?

Do you think I’m a clown?

Oh, I’ll sing and I’ll clap,

I’ll dance and I’ll chant,

I’ll worship a mad man

And call-up my dead aunt.

God speaks through the Bible,

But that’s not enough.

I’d rather waste time

Doing foolish stuff.

*****

I’ll believe in anything,

Anything at all.

I believe in the ‘Big Bang’

But not in ‘The Fall’.

Who is so stupid

To say they believe,

In the Garden of Eden

And Adam and Eve?

And what about Noah?

That ark-building stud?

What happened to the water

After the flood?

Don’t tell me it vanished

Into thin air.

Stories about miracles

Are things I can’t bear.

But, when I’m in pain

And in need of a cure,

A touch from above

Is welcome, I’m sure.

There’s nothing like suffering,

That makes me feel,

There’s a God in Heaven

Who is able to heal.

*****

I saw a one-eyed alien

At the bus-stop last week.

He was very handsome.

I tried to get him to speak.

I’d love to make contact

And find his airbase.

Maybe he’ll invite me

To join him in space.

Surely the universe

Was made for exploring?

Having just Earth

Is really quite boring.

The alien disappeared,

I never saw him again.

Must be those strong pills

That I take for migraine.

*****

I Believe in UFOs

And reincarnation.

With horses, I have

A great affiliation.

I believe in Ouija boards,

They are such a blast!

One said I was a stallion

In my distant past.

It’s harmless fun

That gives me a thrill,

But now I’m hearing voices

That tell me to kill.

*****

I feel there’s an energy

In the atmosphere.,

And the flow can stop

Just by moving my chair.

Some say it’s silly

To Feng Shui my room,

But it really does help

To reduce my gloom.

I’m a Ying and Yang disciple

With firm dedication,

That’s why my doctor’s put me

On more medication.

*****

I’ll keep the toilet seat down,

ll put my bed on the roof,

But Jesus is Lord?

No, no, I need proof!

Sometimes, I look at nature

and think, ‘How was this made?’

But I’m an unbeliever

who you won’t persuade.

*****

I don’t believe in Jesus

because my eyes have been blinded,

but, I’ll believe in anything

because I’m open-minded.

My daughter Sarah, takes after me – she is very slim and needs fattening up a little.

Nobody likes to eat cereals with water, not even a milk hater, but I do add cold water to my skimmed milk.

When Sarah was 6 years old, she got wise of this one morning, when I accidentally gave her my jug instead of hers.

From then on, she insisted on having ‘mummy’s special milk’, instead of her un-tampered jug of skimmed.

She loved cheese and chocolate, which my doctor assured me was a great source of calcium for non-milk drinkers. But I had a secret scheme in place.

When the season turns to Autumn / Winter, Sarah would swap her cereals for good old sloppy porridge. It would then be covered in drizzled honey, mixed nuts, apricots and raisins.

What a delight it was to watch her lapping it up every morning!  It was time to put my crafty plan into place. I decided to swap her red milk carton for the blue one; full fat, greasy cow juice.

The next day, she sat at the breakfast table playing with the porridge.

“Eat it up then.” I encouraged, trying not to sound too excited.

A great big sigh escaped from her lungs while she propped up the side of her head with her left hand. Swirls of creamy oats swam around the bowl as she circled her spoon in the gruel. Nuts sunk to the bottom and the raisins bobbed about like a dinghy in a cyclone.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why aren’t you eating your breakfast?”

“It smells milky and it tastes different too. I don’t like it today.”

This confession gave her the confidence to push the bowl as far away from her as possible, almost tipping it over the edge of the table.

It was no use. Her sensitive palette was aware of a change and the very aroma of the meal was making her wretch.

Those guilt pangs that parents often get, threw themselves at me and clung on tight:

“So, you’ve now put her off porridge entirely.” “How would you like it if your mum did that to you?” “What if she stops having breakfast altogether?”

I realised that I had done the wrong thing by trying to force her to go ‘cold turkey’. A sensible mother would  have done it gradually by omitting the water from the skimmed, then trying watery semi-skimmed, then un-diluted semi-skimmed, and last of all, watery whole milk.

But, no. I had made the wrong choice by deciding to deceive her into thinking she had the usual composition in front of her.

“Ooh, isn’t the devil the author of deception? Are you on his side now?”

Alas, I am a slow learner. Whether that’s from not reading my bible enough, not putting what I read into practice, or just being plain foolish, I’m not sure. Maybe a bit of all three? Either way, it wasn’t long before I was at it again.

I had seen many parenting articles warning them to not use the television as a babysitter. While I was still pregnant, I had tutted at the thought of mothers plonking their children down to watch the big screen while they got on with cleaning the oven and peeling the spuds.

“I’m never going to do that!” I had declared with a puffed-out chest.

Well, Balamory was a lifesaver.

The Scottish show had fantastic characters and wonderful jingles we could all sing along to while learning life lessons.  We loved Miss Hoolie’s odd shaped hair that bounced like a tidal wave each time she spoke, and Sarah adored Josie Jump because she reminded her of her Aunty Michelle, with her never ending energy and jovial manner.

Yes indeed, I was pleased to discover that many primary school programmes were wholesome and wonderfully educational. But despite this confession, those little guilt demons were still hanging around.

“Orrr! You said you were never going to do that! Yet, you use this electric babysitter more than anyone. You baked a loaf of bread last week while your poor Sarah watched 5 full episodes of Tommy Zoom. She will become terrified of blue toys you know. You’ve damaged her for life! And what about the other day when you were on the computer and your little babe watched the entire DVD of Kipper the Dog? Aren’t you scared she’s going to start barking?”

It’s true, she had begun to watch too much television and it was my fault. I had let things slip by being preoccupied elsewhere in the house.

So one day, I decided to curb things a little. Again, rather than confronting the issue by either doing things gradually or better still, talking to Sarah about important matters, I chose the lazy way – the way of no integrity – the deceptive ‘I can’t be bothered to have a proper conversation about this’ way.

I unplugged the television and hid the cable behind the set. It was well covered and I thought she’d never guess what I’d done.

It seemed that my plan had worked. The next morning, after putting on her school clothes, Sarah pottered around her bedroom doing constructive, useful things and only half-heartedly mentioned that the television wasn’t working.

However, just before we left the house, she said,

“Mummy, I think I’ve solved the problem. It’s that plug there, see? I think it’s come out of somewhere, that’s why the telly won’t work.”

The cord had been traced to behind the television and the culprit was discovered. She went over and picked up the plug and donned a big ‘Aren’t I a clever girl?’ grin.

I let out one of those false laughs that parents express when they are pretending to be pleased. It was the same type of noise I made when she was once inside a Santa’s grotto and picked up an ugly ‘boy toy’, bypassing the beautiful Barbie staring at her from a large pink box.

I thought about how we tell our children not to lie, deceive or exercise selective integrity. Yet here was I, trying to avoid sensible, mature conversation by hiding things so I didn’t have to confront the matter.

I stood there and wondered. If she found out about my two misdemeanours, would she trust me ever again? Those voices were quick to respond:

 “Not for a long time.”

In shame, I confessed my sin to God and my husband graciously opted to consume the remaining litres of full fat milk.

I sat Sarah down and had a gentle talk with her about how I’d like her to do other things in the evenings to occupy her time. I explained how television should be watched in moderation and suggested suitable alternatives for when she is tired.

Years later, we were rewarded as parents by seeing Sarah’ joy when she pass her exams, getting top grades and slipping into university with ease. Her scores were so high, she could have chosen to study anywhere in the world. She also is quite wise about how she spends her free time and has turned out to be an amazing godly woman of integrity and grace. We are so proud of her and grateful to God for his mercy during our moments of parental failure.

Between you and me, I think I still love Balamory, and I miss it now that it is no longer aired. But life is so much better when we tell the truth isn’t it?

So, I’m going to confess to my lovely daughter how much I am hankering for more episodes and hope that inspires her to put their DVD on her Christmas list.

Yuck!

I put my hand into my new handbag and pulled out my brand-new purse. It was covered in sticky, brown, sludgy mush. The white stitched seams were now moistened with a dark red stain and the bank cards inside were wet. When I opened the purse flap, all I could see of the Velcro strip that keeps it fastened, were blobs of gunk in between the miniscule plastic nodules. Eight tissues from the outer pocket of the bag were soggy and shredded into many pieces, as the liquid from an unknown source had softened them into pulp.

As I looked into the main compartment of my little bag, I could see that the black cloth lining was soaked with more of this soggy stuff. On removing a door key and pen, purple-brown blobs, looking like shrivelled-up aubergine skin, dropped from these items onto the car seat.

Then I peered deep into the corner of the main compartment and discovered the offender.

A rotting plum.

Oh dear. Six days before, I had sneaked it into my handbag, but then, unlike the previous 3 that I had stashed away, I had forgotten all about it.

My daughter Sarah chuckled and said, “That will teach you for stealing fruit from the restaurant.”

While on holiday, I had seen so much delicious food in the ‘eat as much as you like’ buffet, that my lunchtime fest had become one of no self-control. Thus, I had repeatedly piled my plate with the strangest combinations of cuisine, all because I didn’t want to miss out on anything.

It was really, plain, simple greed. Pushing away a bowl of watermelon that I could only manage one bite out of, I had stared at my fat, juicy plum.

“Seems a shame to put it back.” I had mused. “Plus, it’s not a very hygienic thing to do considering that I’ve touched it, squeezed it and rubbed it on my top to make the skin shine. Better take it with me.”

I had already done this before at 3 previous mealtimes and had enjoyed devouring them at a later time in the day.

After looking around the tables like a nervous owl, I popped the plum into my bag as surreptitiously as I could, while the waiters tended to other affairs. We rose to leave, trying to look innocent. There was a note displayed in our hotel bedroom about guests not being allowed to plunder food out of the restaurant. But, having seen a man stride out boldly with 2 thick slices of gateaux on a plate, putting a finger to his lips as I gawped at him, I figured there was nothing wrong with what I was doing.

In reality, I had fallen into the subtle trap of, “Well, everybody does it.”

Back in my car, I searched frantically for a baby wipe to clean my hands and to place the soiled items onto.

Sarah was right. This was a reminder about integrity and my apparent lack of it. I had tried to justify myself by saying it was only one small item – it wasn’t a gigantic piece of cake like that man had – it was something that I had planned to eat at the dining table. But the facts remained. I had been a bad example of honesty and obedience and now I was paying the price for compromising.

It doesn’t matter how many other people were breaking the rules. I knew it was forbidden and I did it anyway, even gloating that I had got away with it.

A bible verse suddenly came to mind – Luke 16:10:

He who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little thing is also dishonest in much. (AMP)

One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in very little is also dishonest in much. (ESV)

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. (NLT)

I cringed. The Message version is the most outspoken of them all. It says:

If you’re honest in small things, you’ll be honest in big things. If you’re a crook in small things, you’ll be a crook in big things.

I want God to trust me with bigger things. Things far bigger than sweet plums. I want him to trust that when given plenty of options, I’m not going to overindulge just because I can. I want him to know that when faced with various kinds of prosperity, I’m going to be frugal and wise by only taking what I need.

Avarice and dishonesty aren’t any different in God’s eyes than murder or grand theft.

I hung my head in shame, realising that I had not passed this test and will have to go to the ‘back of the queue’ and start again.

In her book, ‘I Dared to Call Him Father’, Bilquis Sheikh talks often about losing the awareness of the presence of the Lord whenever she did something that displeased him.

I love the way she describes her avid desire to constantly be aware of his presence. It’s a wonderful book that has taught me that the Bible and inner convictions from the Holy Spirit can steer us quickly back to where we should be, so that we can feel his nearness again. And that is what he wants.

She states, “Whenever I did not feel his nearness, I knew that I had grieved him. I would search backwards until I spotted the time when I last knew his presence. Then I would review every act, every word, or thought until I discovered where I had gone astray. At that point, I would confess my sin and ask his forgiveness.”

What encouragement! This quote and the bible verse above are a fantastic reminder that it is not just the big things we do that matter to God, but the seemingly insignificant things also. Nothing is trivial if it is the wrong choice. How often do we not even realise we’ve moved out of God’s presence altogether? Do we even care?

Well, I care. I want to please him in every thought and deed – in what I do and in what I don’t do. I want to be in his presence all the time because that is where the blessings of peace reside.

Another verse that helps keep me in check when I am falling into the trap of ‘because everybody does it’ is:

Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:2 NLT)

It’s true – it really doesn’t matter what other people’s opinions of you are so long as you are following what God has told you to do. Did your mockers create the blazing sun and the exploding stars? Have they the authority to determine what becomes of your soul when you die? Then ignore their jibes about you being a goody-goody and do what you know to be the right thing.

I shall never look at a plum in the same way again. And in future, I shall only take what I know I can consume.

That person. Yes that one. The one who has really annoyed you. The one who deserves to be stripped and beaten in public, or at least shamed on social media.

How could they go around acting like there’s nothing wrong? Do people know what they did to you? And…and…and they are not even sorry!

My mother once described to me a scenario that had a lasting effect on me. Whenever I am at loggerheads with anyone – especially if it has caused deep, emotional pain, I imagine we are both in a dark cell about to be tortured and murdered for our faith. Forgiveness then comes as easy as fishing in a puddle. It works every time.

Fifteen Minutes

We let down our guard

And then we lose sight.

We begin to bicker,

Which leads to a fight.

Then a voice cries out,

“You’re breaking ties.

It’s time for you both,

To close your eyes.

Now…imagine this,

You are both in a cell,

It’s cold, it’s dark,

There’s a horrible smell.

But that can’t compare

To the screams outside.

You can’t block this out,

There’s nowhere to hide.

It’s the scream of persecution,

The scream of agony.

In fifteen minutes,

That’s where you will be.

One of you, anyway,

And one will remain,

But of you both will die,

In terrible pain.

Unless you deny Jesus,

Renounce him for good,

Give up your Saviour,

Do you think that you could?”

As I hear more screams,

I know this is real.

I no longer care about,

How I used to feel.

In fifteen minutes,

They’ll open this door,

One of us is next,

But who, I’m not sure

But one thing I know,

For you, I’ve no hate,

We share the same Father,

We share the same fate.

As they come to the door,

And undo the bolt,

I no longer care,

Who was at fault.                      

Any disagreement,

That we had in the past,

Is forgotten now,

As my heart beats so fast.

All I want to do,

Is lift you in prayer,

You’re my sister in Christ,

And I really do care.

Nothing else matters,

But knowing for sure,

That you will stand firm,

Be strong and endure.

Isn’t it amazing,

How the fear of strong pain,

Restores my feelings

And I love you again?

Isn’t it amazing

How we can put away strife,

When we are faced with the threat

Of losing our life?