At the checkout in a bargain store, a toddler was sitting in a large trolley. His parents were being served and it was evident that they were purchasing many goods. One of the items on the conveyor belt was a pack of 5 Cadburys Crème Eggs. The boy’s mouth was smothered in brown sludge, indicating that he had recently consumed a chocolate delicacy. But he was shouting, “Egg!” very loudly. With both arms stretched out wide, he flexed his sticky fingers while glaring angrily at this mother. The dad was standing behind the trolley and doing nothing to pacify his son.
“Egg!” “Egg!” “Egg!” “Egg!” “Egg!” “Egg!”
This continued for several minutes.
Being strapped into the trolley seat, he was unable to do any damage, but his little body began to rock violently back and forth as he thrashed his legs against the metal bars.
“Ehhhhhgg!”
His mother could stand it no longer and reached out for the chocolates that had not yet been paid for. She asked the cashier to scan them quickly and promptly began to open the box. Laminated cardboard in shades of purple, yellow and red, flew onto the floor as customers watched the mother frantically shove a foiled oval ball into her child’s hands.
“There you go Poppet.”
Poppet? Poppet? That’s what I call my child when she’s being sweet! He was acting like a quintessential brat.
Customers began shaking their heads and muttering things like,
“My child would be made to wait!”
“If that was my kid, he’d be getting no egg!”
A particular worry that seems prevalent amongst many parents, is the fear of scolding, reprimanding and chastising their children, because they think this will make them grow up to hate them. I’m not talking about being overly strict or abusing them, I mean, knowing when to say ‘No’ or ‘Wait’ or ‘You are not getting that now because you are behaving badly.’
It is sad when we as parents fail to realise that our children’s anger towards us is part of human nature and if we pander to their wilful ways, it won’t make them love us all the more.
In reality, our kids are more likely to hate us if we give in to their every whim.
The little boy was neither starving hungry, nor neglected. He now knows that if he makes enough fuss, he can have what he wants, even though it is not necessarily good for him. Aren’t many adults like that? I wonder how that began?
I am so grateful for all the no’s my parents gave me. Yes, I still wish I had been given that pogo stick, space hopper and Katie Kopycat doll for Christmas. Up until about the age of 11, each birthday I secretly wished that one of those 3 toys would emerge from the wrapping paper. But, my life is none the worse for having been deprived of them as a child.
Besides, I got my space hopper in the end. On my 34th birthday, my house mate presented me with the most amazing, yellow, bouncy ball. As I clung to its wobbly ears, I had many jolly days prancing around the living room.
The grin on my face was larger than the one on the ball, and each time I remembered that I was no longer in my primary years, I told myself it was a good workout for the heart and lungs and muscle exercise for the legs.
However, I never realised how hard they would be to steer. After knocking plenty of vases over, one day I crashed into the sofa, leaving large bruises on my shins. Ah, now I know why my mum wouldn’t let me have all the things I had asked for. We lived in a small apartment with no garden, so I would have been bobbing up and down in the living room, where the television would have ended up on the floor, and the pogo stick would have impaled the ceiling.
There are many things I still crave to possess in my life that I know won’t necessarily bless me in the way I hope they would; and I have to force myself to think maturely and accept that we shouldn’t always obtain what we want.
I am trying to be patient. I am trying to not flex my fingers at God and shout something like, “Egg!” at him in the hope that he will instantly adhere to my demands.
Nobody likes a spoilt child, but let’s be honest, a spoilt adult is even worse.
