Words are churning in your head and you are excited about the thought of them being formatted into some sort of order that would describe it as your first book. Go for it – I know you can do it.
But yea, it’s easy to say that when you’ve already done it. To master just the page layout can be feat in itself and you don’t know if you’ll have the patience to display your thoughts in a way that compliments your style.
Sorry to sound a little casual, but this really isn’t your biggest problem. In my humblest, humble opinion, the hardest hurdles are pertaining to the mind itself, not the book.
The article below is my take on how to overcome the biggest mental challenges. Some snippets of advice are for everybody, but some parts relate solely to Christian writers, because their faith will be at play also.
Whoever you are and whatever you believe, this one notion is true for everybody:
Technicality is secondary to mindset. Get your thoughts right first, and the rest will not be as hard as you imagined.
There are nine basic human desires that I believe can stand in the way of emotional success if not kept regularly in check.
We don’t go around consciously declaring:
“I want to be liked.”
“I want to be understood.”
“I want to be heard.”
“I want to be appreciated.”
“I want to be taken seriously.”
“I want to be trusted.”
“I want to be believed.”
“I want to be accepted.”
“I want to be admired.”
but that is what we all think in varying degrees, and for some of us, it is a daily subconscious declaration.
It shows itself in the way we behave towards others and in the decisions we make. All of the statements have the power to become too much of a stronghold in our lives and that is where things can begin to go wrong.
1: I want to be liked.
Everybody has opinions and they will often differ from yours. Accept it. Don’t fight it. Don’t try to make people like you by being something you are not. Yes, by all means continually strive to improve your own personality (the Epistles are perfect for highlighting weakness and sins) but don’t become a people-pleaser or a sycophant. Remember, Jesus said that you are not greater than your master. If people hate him, they will hate you, no matter what you do to try to appease them.
2: I want to be understood
You can take two hours clearly explaining your thoughts and the listener hears, but hasn’t grasped what you were trying to put across. Accept that they are wired differently to you and may never see your point of view even if they lived another 100 years.
An author friend of mine was rejected by a mainstream publisher because they thought her book was written in a way that southern people would not understand. She refused to change the dialect and local jargon because she wanted the northern humour to be authentic. I read it and it was indeed too vernacular for me, and I didn’t understand the subtle northern humour at all. I was brought up in the south and so many incidents and phrases in her book could not be appreciated by my brain. Although I admired her for sticking to her guns, it turns out that the publisher was right. When I read it, I could not hear the accents, mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of the area she was portraying. It took me 6 years to realise why certain things were said in the way they were. It’s a shame because it was a fantastic story.
If people cannot identify with certain things you are saying, they may not understand your book as much as others. But that doesn’t matter in the long run. Even though the publisher my friend spoke to was right, there may be one day when a northern playright is looking for a story just like hers, and she will become an overnight success. She was happy with the choice she made and you need to do the same, even if it means less people like your work.
3: I want to be heard
People want a voice, but there are times when we must stop talking and hear what others are saying.We have to ask ourselves, “Is what I am saying more important than what that person is trying to say to me?”
So, how does this relate to writing? Your topic may not be a favourable one. You are getting your point of view across in print, but it may be emotionally difficult to read. Think about how different people are going to perceive your words and accept that not everybody is going to want to hear them at this moment in time.
God doesn’t always want us to display ourselves in the way we are trying to, and left unchecked, we can come across as attention-seekers. Regarding Christian books, “This is me.” Is not as important as, “This is He.” But, even when we are promoting Jesus, others don’t necessarily want to hear that, no matter how eloquently he is presented. Accept that it was the wrong time and that you may be given an opportunity to try again at a later date.
4: I want to be appreciated
So, you stayed up late to finish your last chapter. Your neck hurts, your eyes are sore and your wrists are stiff. You missed time with your family, your favourite TV show and precious hours of sleep. The world cries, “So what?”
You spent hours on YouTube trying to find a tutorial on how to number pages correctly, set margins, prevent text from wandering off the page, add headers, keep line spacing consistent, find all the hidden typos, and add page breaks, but the videos you found may as well have been in Greek.
By the time you managed it, you had missed 3 meals and are seeing double. The world cries, “So what?”
You went into the woods with your new camera to find the best snapshots for your front cover. When you tried to insert the picture, it was all misaligned. The pigeon in the bottom of the photo was taking centre stage, leaving 2 petals from the beautiful dahlias up in the far corner. It made you scream, then you wept till dawn. The world cries, “So what?”
Our desire for appreciation although valid, can turn us into insecure people. When unfulfilled, it can make us angry and at worst, depressed. Not everyone will give you validation for the effort you made. They are busy working hard themselves. Be proud of yourself, but stop expecting others to be.
5: I want to be taken seriously
Who likes to be regarded as a fool or uncool? When Jesus was teaching in the temple, his neighbours from his hometown couldn’t take him seriously because all they saw was the boy whom they grew up with from an insignificant family, living a mediocre life, in an insignificant district. It doesn’t matter if you never got a grade in English language or struggle with dyslexia. It you believe you can write a book, then you can.
If you are writing humour or memoirs with lots of personal confessions, there will always be the risk of others misunderstanding your wit, or not being able to cope with your blatant honesty – thereby judging you to be somewhat stupid. Don’t let the fear of people’s wrong conclusions about you, hold you back. If people accuse you of being daft just because you are happy to be yourself, let them. They are the fools for being too proud to see that God is not impressed with airs and graces of any kind.
6: I want to be trusted
I am a stickler for credibility and I’m sure you are too. Our natural human inclinations mean we are liable to judge people wrongfully owing to not being able to see past the obvious. For example, if Dougal MacTavish wrote an Indian curry cookbook, it may well be the best one around. In the bookshop, seeing Dougal’s book next to that of Rakesh Singh’s, which one am I likely to buy? With not much information to go on, I am going to grab Rakesh’s book. Likewise, if Rakesh learnt how to make the tastiest haggis in town, but Dougal’s haggis cookbook is sitting next to his on the shelf, I am going to buy his.
With this in mind, don’t be offended if people are put off buying your book because there are not many Amazon reviews. Telling them they can get a refund if they don’t like it, does not register in some minds – it’s not much hassle, but it feels like it is, and therefore, this is not much of an incentive to make a purchase. Added to this is the fact that we don’t read as much as we used to, nor do we have the space for another book in our house. Now, some people love books and prefer having items in print. But they might not be keen on your genre. Personally, I am wary of anything sci-fi or fantasy and I’m not too keen on romance novels. However, I decided to buy a fellow writer’s fantasy book and it was brilliant. I also borrowed a book from the library that was recommended by a stranger on YouTube and I loved it. But not everybody likes to take that risk. Accept it and move on.
7: I want to be believed
Many Christians encounter supernatural experiences that they are excited to share with the world. Unfortunately, because there are a myriad of deceivers out there, some people may be wary of any stories that involve miracles. Your testimony is your testimony, but know that there will always be folk who struggle to believe the accuracy of your tale.
My own mother enjoyed my book, “God Loves Children”, but she struggled with the chapter entitled, The Mystery of the Disappearing Boy. I have never told her the story, so that was the first red flag for her. She is naturally somebody who questions everything, so the fact that she found this story unbelievable was heightened by the fact that I had never mentioned it.
She said to me one day, “Is that story true?” Everything in me wanted to scream, “How could you doubt me, your own daughter, as to whether I made that up or not? Of course it is true! Where on the back cover is it mentioned that this is a work of fiction?”
I suddenly realised I was feeling insulted and disrespected, so I took a deep breath and laughed.
I gave myself as pep talk: “If my own mum wants to doubt the validity of a story, so what? She enjoyed the book didn’t she? Don’t I question things if they sound far-fetched? Be thankful that you know this was true and that if people have a hard time believing it, it confirms how miraculous it really was and how blessed you are for being chosen by God to encounter such an experience.”
Even Jesus’ own siblings didn’t believe he was the Messiah, so brace yourself – you are not as wonderful as him, so it’s likely that there may come a time when close friends and family doubt some of the things you say. Don’t take it personally just because they know you well.
A good example of how we are desperate to be believed is evident in the popular televsion shows, “The Traitors, UK/USA/Australia”. It doesn’t matter which one you watch, the psychology is the same – people hate being doubted.
It starts off with 3-4 people who have been assigned as traitors and the remaining 18 are genuine members of the ‘good pack’. However, because nobody has any clues as to who the secret traitors are, there is a natural inclination to suspect innocent members of the team as being the deceivers, and they are subsquently falsely accused.
It’s only a game, but human reasoning dictates that when you’re being accused of something you are not guilty of, you will forget it’s just a game and take it badly. Thus, in each show, viewers witness emotionally mature men displaying uncontrollable anger and the coolest of men bursting into tears.
Viewers at home are shouting, “Get a grip! It’s not real!” But to the one being falsely accused, it is taken personally.
You have no control over who is going to doubt you – just don’t doubt yourself.
8: I want to be accepted
You may try to get your manuscript accepted by a mainstream publisher because of the genre or some other reason. If they don’t accept it, it will more than likely be for the reasons I stated in my post, Are You Still Whole in the Bowl? Don’t take the rejection to heart. It doesn’t mean you are no good, nor does it mean that you are not as good as those authors who have copies of their books gracing the shelves of popular bookstores.
Never let rejection cause you to feel defeated. Think of the amount of people you know who can sing beautifully. Are they all recording artists? Have they been offered a 10 year contract with a record label? Have they been welcomed into the world of theatre and do they receive regular job offers for the next big performance? Even those who have managed to secure a place on a TV talent show end up being sidelined by the winner and rarely heard of again. That doesn’t mean they didn’t have amazing talent.
It may be that the genre you write in doesn’t seem to match who you are. A young male author may be laughed at for writing children’s stories. An elderly author may be considered strange for writing youth fantasy. A goth may be ridiculed for penning soppy poetry. An obese person may be mocked for their passion for producing cookbooks on Vegan recipes and a middle aged businessman may have to keep it quiet that he loves to churn out romantic novels.
Follow your writing passion no matter if there is a risk of it producing derision. Being who you are is far better than conforming to the mould people expect you to fit into. If it’s not a sin, then jump right in!
9: I want to be admired
Ah yes, it feels lovely to be admired. Even Christians who are ever aware that pride comes before a fall, go just as gooey inside as anyone, when somebody gives them a compliment. Accept any approbation received, graciously, but don’t make that your goal. Know in yourself that you have done a good job, but that the glory ultimately goes to God. He is the one who gave you the talent. He is the one who kept your brain active and your creativity in full flow. He is the one who gave you sleep to be refreshed and food to stay physically strong. He is the one who allowed all those negative and positive experiences to happen in your life, to give you either stories or a passion for a certain field of interest. Enjoy what you do, but admire the One who inspired you to do it.
Admiration when received in excess is not good. We humans simply cannot handle it in abundance.
I could name hundreds of thousands of people who became crippled under the weight of human glory:
Elvis Presley, Marilyn Munroe, Whitney Houston, Charlie Sheen, Amy Winehouse, Robin Williams, Britney Spears, Matthew Perry.
These make up one tiny drop in the massive bucket of success. You could name far more than me, I know. You are welcome to draw up a longer list.
As a writer, don’t ask yourself, “Do I want to be admired?” You are human and therefore, you already do. As yourself a better question: “Why do I want to be admired?”
Ask God to reveal any insecurity and pride in you and to help you become more secure in who you are as a person. Even better, ask him to allow a situation to happen whereby somebody lies about you, criticises you, or puts a negative spin on someting good you did. How did you react and how do you feel? That in itself will identify how much your desire for admiration has gone too far. Then, you’ll be able to get back on track.
I hope this has helped you a little. It is wonderful to be able to have a collection of memories or reflections all in one place that you can return to as often as you like. Make your book for you, not for profit or accolade. If you get both of those things, be thankful, but never take your eyes off the fact that writing books is firstly a fun way to express yourself, for yourself, and if you are fortunate enough to fulfill your desire to bless others in the process, that’s a remarkable added bonus.
I wish you all the best. Let me know how you get on.
