Yuck!
I put my hand into my new handbag and pulled out my brand-new purse. It was covered in sticky, brown, sludgy mush. The white stitched seams were now moistened with a dark red stain and the bank cards inside were wet. When I opened the purse flap, all I could see of the Velcro strip that keeps it fastened, were blobs of gunk in between the miniscule plastic nodules. Eight tissues from the outer pocket of the bag were soggy and shredded into many pieces, as the liquid from an unknown source had softened them into pulp.
As I looked into the main compartment of my little bag, I could see that the black cloth lining was soaked with more of this soggy stuff. On removing a door key and pen, purple-brown blobs, looking like shrivelled-up aubergine skin, dropped from these items onto the car seat.
Then I peered deep into the corner of the main compartment and discovered the offender.
A rotting plum.
Oh dear. Six days before, I had sneaked it into my handbag, but then, unlike the previous 3 that I had stashed away, I had forgotten all about it.
My daughter Sarah chuckled and said, “That will teach you for stealing fruit from the restaurant.”
While on holiday, I had seen so much delicious food in the ‘eat as much as you like’ buffet, that my lunchtime fest had become one of no self-control. Thus, I had repeatedly piled my plate with the strangest combinations of cuisine, all because I didn’t want to miss out on anything.
It was really, plain, simple greed. Pushing away a bowl of watermelon that I could only manage one bite out of, I had stared at my fat, juicy plum.
“Seems a shame to put it back.” I had mused. “Plus, it’s not a very hygienic thing to do considering that I’ve touched it, squeezed it and rubbed it on my top to make the skin shine. Better take it with me.”
I had already done this before at 3 previous mealtimes and had enjoyed devouring them at a later time in the day.
After looking around the tables like a nervous owl, I popped the plum into my bag as surreptitiously as I could, while the waiters tended to other affairs. We rose to leave, trying to look innocent. There was a note displayed in our hotel bedroom about guests not being allowed to plunder food out of the restaurant. But, having seen a man stride out boldly with 2 thick slices of gateaux on a plate, putting a finger to his lips as I gawped at him, I figured there was nothing wrong with what I was doing.
In reality, I had fallen into the subtle trap of, “Well, everybody does it.”
Back in my car, I searched frantically for a baby wipe to clean my hands and to place the soiled items onto.
Sarah was right. This was a reminder about integrity and my apparent lack of it. I had tried to justify myself by saying it was only one small item – it wasn’t a gigantic piece of cake like that man had – it was something that I had planned to eat at the dining table. But the facts remained. I had been a bad example of honesty and obedience and now I was paying the price for compromising.
It doesn’t matter how many other people were breaking the rules. I knew it was forbidden and I did it anyway, even gloating that I had got away with it.
A bible verse suddenly came to mind – Luke 16:10:
He who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little thing is also dishonest in much. (AMP)
One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in very little is also dishonest in much. (ESV)
If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. (NLT)
I cringed. The Message version is the most outspoken of them all. It says:
If you’re honest in small things, you’ll be honest in big things. If you’re a crook in small things, you’ll be a crook in big things.
I want God to trust me with bigger things. Things far bigger than sweet plums. I want him to trust that when given plenty of options, I’m not going to overindulge just because I can. I want him to know that when faced with various kinds of prosperity, I’m going to be frugal and wise by only taking what I need.
Avarice and dishonesty aren’t any different in God’s eyes than murder or grand theft.
I hung my head in shame, realising that I had not passed this test and will have to go to the ‘back of the queue’ and start again.
In her book, ‘I Dared to Call Him Father’, Bilquis Sheikh talks often about losing the awareness of the presence of the Lord whenever she did something that displeased him.
I love the way she describes her avid desire to constantly be aware of his presence. It’s a wonderful book that has taught me that the Bible and inner convictions from the Holy Spirit can steer us quickly back to where we should be, so that we can feel his nearness again. And that is what he wants.
She states, “Whenever I did not feel his nearness, I knew that I had grieved him. I would search backwards until I spotted the time when I last knew his presence. Then I would review every act, every word, or thought until I discovered where I had gone astray. At that point, I would confess my sin and ask his forgiveness.”
What encouragement! This quote and the bible verse above are a fantastic reminder that it is not just the big things we do that matter to God, but the seemingly insignificant things also. Nothing is trivial if it is the wrong choice. How often do we not even realise we’ve moved out of God’s presence altogether? Do we even care?
Well, I care. I want to please him in every thought and deed – in what I do and in what I don’t do. I want to be in his presence all the time because that is where the blessings of peace reside.
Another verse that helps keep me in check when I am falling into the trap of ‘because everybody does it’ is:
Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:2 NLT)
It’s true – it really doesn’t matter what other people’s opinions of you are so long as you are following what God has told you to do. Did your mockers create the blazing sun and the exploding stars? Have they the authority to determine what becomes of your soul when you die? Then ignore their jibes about you being a goody-goody and do what you know to be the right thing.
I shall never look at a plum in the same way again. And in future, I shall only take what I know I can consume.
