There are three tumble driers I head for when I enter the launderette. I am sure they are hotter and more economical than the others. I was happy to see that Number 2 was empty, and I proceeded to shove my wet washing into the warm drum.
In my peripheral vision, I could see a figure standing to the right of me, watching my every move. As I inserted the first 20 pence into the slot, the figure walked right up to me, and I could tell it was a man in his forties. He was so close that he was almost standing on my toes. While I turned the metal knob that throws my coins into the money tin inside the machine, he began mimicking my wrist actions. He put his fist next to mine and twisted it clockwise as if it was him who was feeding the machine. I turned my head to give him full eye contact and realised he was a person with learning difficulties. I smiled but there was no reciprocation coming from his face.
Realising that my dyer was next to his, I sat down on my laundry bag feeling a little unnerved.
Staring ahead, I could not tell if he was still glaring at me, but I knew his head was still facing my direction, so I grabbed my phone from my handbag and stared at the screen. I had no intention of playing a game, or re-reading old messages, but I realised the best thing to do was to appear too pre-occupied for conversation.
Now, even the most unobservant of people know that in this day and age, people in public places sit gawping at their phones. Long gone are the days when diners at a restaurant would remain staring into space while their friend has nipped to the toilet. It’s like it’s uncool to appear to be bored and we simply must be seen to be focussed on our devices, even if our battery power is at 4%. But alas, my cunning plan not only did not work, but instead, it encouraged my drying buddy to become over-interested in what was in my hand. He slid himself across the bench and pointed down at my blank screen:
“02? 02? 02? 02? 02? 02? 02?”
Panic gripped my throat. When was he going to stop? Hoping to deter him from his inquisition over what phone provider I use, I donned a silly grin, nodded my head vigorously and quickly shouted a loud, “Yes!”
This false confirmation prompted his hidden smile to emerge, and he looked around at the ladies on the far side of the room.
“She on 02 too! She on 02 too! 02! She 02! Everybody here on 02! 02!”
At this point, I considered leaving my bench and going back to my car to wait until my clothes were dry. However, he had also been intensely interested in my washing and I feared he may steal it before I returned.
Like I suspected, he sat back down and peered through the window of my dryer and began scrutinising the sock that was at the front of the cylinder. With his face up to the hot glass, he cocked his head to one side just like Galen from The Planet of the Apes. I wondered if he would begin to wrinkle his nose and start sniffing, but that was as far as his acting skills would allow.
As he continued to chase the sock around the drum, I was nervous that he may ask me another odd question. To my relief, he suddenly disappeared. Strange – I hadn’t noticed him walking away. A grunting noise came from the machine next to mine. He had climbed inside to fetch his vests. The poor thing had burnt his knees in the process and a sadness washed over me when I thought that he probably has been accidentally injuring himself most of his life. As he grabbed his bags and headed towards the door, patellas still steaming, he turned to the same row of women he had called out to earlier and asked them if they would be back the same time next week.
“Please come back.” He pleaded. “Come back Friday. Next Friday. See you again?”
The lying ladies nodded and I pondered on how all human beings desire company no matter who we are or how our brains are wired. There are some who prefer to be around animals and those who can only tolerate certain people in small doses, but being on your own and being lonely are two different things.
I sat there wondering what spiritual lessons I had learned from this experience.
The soulish, side of me was whispering, “You have learnt not to do your drying on a Friday.” But I began to think about how we can sometimes have a fear or incorrect judgement towards people we don’t understand, especially those from a different class, upbringing, nationality, race, gender, temperament, age, or mental capacity.
The latter are not always dangerous. The phone man had just wanted company. But misunderstandings can prevail when we are faced with people who are different from us. Both the poor and the wealthy can assume that each other are lazy. The elderly can assume the young are irresponsible and the young can think that all elderly people are boring. Some fear that those of a chatty nature are going to talk them to death, but there are people in that category who have trained themselves to be good listeners. Likewise, those of a taciturn temperament can be judged as being moody or shy, yet in reality, they can be very jolly and often have great deal more confidence than those who love the sound of their own voice.
God encourages us: “Do not judge others, or you too will be judged, for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged…” Matt 7:1-2
MacLaren’s Exposition Commentary of 1 John (a book in the bible) states that,
“…there is a way in which love produces boldness and that is by casting out fear.”
He goes on to say that when we are in dread of God and what he will do with our lives, it’s because we don’t love him properly and we can also fear other people in the same way – because we have preconceived judgements about them. He said, “We cannot both love and fear the same person or thing and where love comes in, the darker slips out of the door.”
I understand that to mean that if we accepted people for who they were and made a conscious decision to have a loving regard towards them, then irrational fear is dispelled.
Not every young man in a hoodie and tracksuit is going to rob you to fund a drug habit. Not everyone struggling with mental illness is going to stab you with a pair of kitchen scissors. Not every Christian T.V. evangelist is sleeping with his secretary and embezzling the offerings into a Swiss bank account.
The biggest, ‘I’m scared of you because I’m focusing on your stereotype‘ situation I struggled to overcome was the ‘Chinese issue’.
Have you ever squirmed when watching an East Asian citizen on television being chastised by Australian airport officials for trying to smuggle dead rats into their country? A food bag full of wrinkly brown rodents is pulled from his suitcase and when he is given an angry glare, he shrugs his shoulders and claims they are a culinary delicacy.
To prove his point, he digs a long fingernail into the rancid flesh and sucks out the juice from the tip of his finger. Twelve plump maggots slip out of the bag and slide down the table. Millions of viewers sit in their homes retching, as he gives a toothless grin and mutters, “Food, see? It’s only food.” Because of this progamme, I began to develop a predjudice towards oriental people, assuming that they all eat bugs and vermin, but of course, this is not true.
I am learning to trust that the Chinese can be good cooks and that I don’t need to inspect my rice for cockroaches. I have never seen one emerge from my Szechwan, nor have any pork balls come to life to crawl across the dining table.
It is wise to be cautious. My drying buddy could have stolen a towel when I wasn’t looking. But I have also learnt that it is also wise to not allow stereotypes to rule our lives.
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
