WISE MAN 1
Where are the shepherds with their crooks,
And elastic bands around their head?
Where are the cattle and the sheep,
That lay near the baby’s head?
***
Where are the bundles of messy hay,
And the crib that’s made of wood?
Where’s the smelly barn,
In which everybody stood?
WISE MAN 2
This is not a Christmas panto’,
There’s no manger and no cot!
Were they short of actors,
Or did they sack the lot?
(Wise Man 3 whispers into the ear of the other two.)
Ah! Twenty four months have passed
And Jesus is now two.
He’s weaned and potty-trained,
And talking a bit now, too.
WISE MAN 1
Are we being a little cocky?
Pedantic with the rules?
Do you think the audience
Will take us for three fools?
WISE MAN 2
Are we ruining the Nativity?
Spoiling the yearly play?
We’re up here on our own!
What will the children say?
WISE MAN 3
(laughs)
Well, the Bible clearly states
That after Herod’s weird behaviour,
Two years or so had passed
Before we visited the Saviour.
***
What a jealous, hateful king!
Yes, according to the story,
He was determined to stop the baby
Growing up to get the glory.
***
So, let’s worship the Messiah,
Leave our gifts, then depart.
Then, let’s go back a different way
And make a brand new start.
WISE MAN 3
For, God has made it known,
Herod’s intentions are not pure.
Evil plans have filled his mind
Of that, we can be sure.
(they pause and take a deep breath as they look in the distance at the Christ child)
WISE MAN 1
We leave gold for a child
Who is our Lord and King.
And for this little Priest,
Frankincense I bring.
***
He may be teeny, tiny now,
But he is God, all the same.
And one day, he will die for us,
That is why he came.
WISE MAN 3
So, for his death, we bring a gift
That smells so strong and sweet.
It can be poured upon is head,
And flow down to his feet.
***
We leave this oil of myrrh
That can be stored away,
To anoint his precious body
On a sad and lonely day.
WISE MAN 1
Before we go…
I have a question for you two.
Something’s on my mind.
I’m confused about the way
The Nativity’s defined.
***
Why do we sing carols
That say it was snowing?
He wasn’t born in winter.
The hot sun was glowing.
***
The weather was not bleak,
They didn’t trudge through ice.
WISE MAN 2
Ssh! You’re spoiling the story!
WISE MAN 1
Well, I like to be precise.
WISE MAN 3
I suppose it is amusing,
Yes, it’s really quite enthralling.
It was late summer.
The leaves were not yet falling.
WISE MAN 1
(singing a mixture of two carols at once)
“See amidst the winter’s snow…”
“Frosty wind made moan…”
(laughs)
WISE MAN 2
(waving his hand dismissively)
Oh let the people sing!
Leave their lyrics alone!
***
We’ve left our gifts before the Lord,
And now, we need to scatter.
That crazy king is after his life –
His birth date doesn’t matter.
***
What matters is, to listen,
To our God, who is speaking.
So, we don’t allow that man
To fulfil what he is seeking.
WISE MAN 1
He said he wants to worship him,
But he’s trying to deceive.
The child’s life is in danger
So, we’ll bow once more, then leave.
WISE MAN 3
But first, let’s rejoice!
The celebration begins!
Jesus is the Christ child,
Who will save us from our sins!
(pause as they put their gifts down on the floor)
(They kneel in front of the gifts, then close their eyes. Wise Man 1 puts his hand on his heart, Wise Man 2 looks down to the ground in worship, and Wise Man 3 looks up to the heavens.)
(Wise Man 2 and Wise Man 3 rise and turn around, walking towards DOWN CENTRE. Wise Man 1 gets up slowly and turns around, but doesn’t move.)
WISE MAN 1
So, were there only three of us
Like the Nativity declares?
WISE MAN 3
Umm, I think there were many more,
But really… (All) who cares!
(They laugh to themselves and walk off the stage slowly.)