If you search the internet for the top manliest men in history, you will find a collection of heroes who are well known as physically fit guys, who have big muscles and own some kind of weapon that they use with ease. Their attire usually consists of leather, a smart suit, army gear, a vest, or a bare chest. Most of them are nifty with a gun and have scantily clad women following them wherever they go. They are most often the head of the organisation they work for, have something that’s alight hanging from their mouths and drive the fastest car, motorbike, or horse.

They are rarely portrayed as a loving husband of one wife, to whom they are faithful. Hardly ever do they appear to be home in time to help put their children to bed. Virtues such as humility, fidelity, patience, and forgiveness are not part of their persona, and good looks are considered more important than a good heart.

As a man, you have been given the awesome privilege of being head over women. The leader. You may be doing a much better job than you think, but deep down, you know something isn’t quite right. Since you were a little boy, you may have been brainwashed into believing you should grow up to be like one of your favourite heroes.

Brainwashed? That’s a bit rude isn’t it? Nobody brainwashed me, Love.

Okay, sorry. What I mean is, deep down, you don’t always feel like you will ever match up to those heroes and it sometimes scares you.

You don’t always want to lead. You don’t always feel as valiant as you try to portray yourself. You’re in a world that is pressurising you to be tough all the time and that can be intimidating, depressing and overwhelming. It may sometimes immobilise you.  Secretly, you may even feel at times, that certain women are doing a much better job than you are and that threatens your masculinity. You may have even given in and decided that you’re more suited to the gay community, because there is less pressure there to fit into the ‘macho-mould’.

Hold on a minute. Men are gay because they fancy men.

Yes, but sometimes they are drawn into that lifestyle because they felt intimidated around women and subsequently less of a man themselves. This especially applies to those who became effeminate before they ever considered having a relationship with someone of the same sex. It just felt safe to be girly.

We females often don’t help. We can put expectations on you by being demanding, we can confuse you by being fickle, we can hinder you by being manipulative, and we can distract you from being the person God created you to be.

Many of you are battling with guilt and feelings of inadequacy because you think you don’t really match up to what society expects. Some of you have spent time in prison owing to a regrettable bad choice.  Some of you don’t get to see your kids often and it’s not your fault. Maybe life has not turned out the way you hoped it would and you’re currently homeless, feeling ashamed, betrayed, or angry.  Some of you have worked hard to ‘look the part’ but all your crutches haven’t changed what’s going on inside. Something’s missing.

The investment portfolio is doing well, but your personal life isn’t. And of course, you won’t been seen dead dashing to a church to talk things over with the vicar, pastor, or priest. You don’t want to appear weak, desperate, or nerdy and there’s always that fear that you might come out feeling worse than you did before you took the nerve to step inside. There is a stereotypical image in the minds of many men that any guy who is ‘into Jesus’ is a little bit odd and definitely uncool.

This book is to help you stop and reflect on your life, so that you can hear in your spirit, your Creator telling you he sees the effort you are making to be a real man, but that some tweaking is required here and there. Mainly in the way that you think – because Jesus is the manliest man that ever lived.

Back to that list of the world’s most manly men: No matter who the paragon of courage is, whether he is portrayed as the dangerous guy or the selfless vigilante, there is one thing they all have in common: they all have an enemy whose desire is to see them dead.

This is a similarity they have with Jesus, but he handles his nemeses in a totally different way; a way that is not considered in this world to be very manly at all. For a start, he loved his enemies and repaid their evil with good. He forgave those who murdered him.

However, Jesus is no timid little wimp that lets bullies boss him into being pushed around. His wisdom far surpasses anyone who has ever lived or who will ever breathe on this earth in the future.  However, you have heard snippets about him being tortured and killed although he was innocent – about him telling people to turn the other cheek when insulted – about loving your enemies; and you have misunderstood those stories, assuming that if you follow him, you’ll lose your masculinity and credibility and become a gimpy little weirdo. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

…and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.

(John 8:32)

Hey God, if you’re there. If you really exist. I don’t want to be told what to do. I’m quite angry at the thought that someone – anyone – would suggest that there’s something wrong with my life!

It’s really insulting of people to go around telling strangers that they need to change. I can’t be doing with pious folk insinuating that I’m in trouble with you if I don’t buck my ideas up. Don’t come picking fault and saying that I need to make some alterations. Do you know how much I’ve strived to do my best all my life? I’m a good, honest man who has never needed you and I’ve done very well on my own so far.

I’m where I am today because I pushed myself, grafted when I could have slept, studied diligently, and did my best for my family.

And now, some person is heavily hinting that I’ve missed the mark if I’ve never known you personally? They tell me I need to be pardoned, let off, forgiven. Forgiven from what? I’ve never been to jail you know. If you are as all-knowing as those Jesusy people say you are, then you already know that I am an upstanding member of my community who loves my wife and brought my kids up well. They all went to university and that isbecause of me. Me! I’m a great dad!

So, maybe they have not got the right person. They’ve picked on the wrong man. This isn’t for me. I don’t need releasing from sins. I’ve nothing to say sorry for, I told you.

Okay, so I lied to my parents when I was a boy and smoked in school when the teachers weren’t looking. I often dreamed of making-out with my mate’s Mrs. and I sold things that were faulty, claiming they were pucker. I guess I had a foul mouth too and yea, of course I swear when people wind me up; who doesn’t? Not been drunk that much and I only tried cocaine once. But you’re saying that these things are the more obvious sins and that I’m guilty of a whole load more? Like what, eh? Like what?

Well naturally, I sucked-up to my boss by bad-mouthing my colleagues so that I would get promotion instead of them. Of course I’m jealous when I see a geezer with a better car than mine. I’m a bloke, aren’t I? Of course I think I’m better than those homeless bums who are always nagging pedestrians for money. Should have worked harder in college, shouldn’t they?

Yea, I eat too much cheese and chocolate and gorge on stuff even when I’m not hungry – it’s comforting isn’t it? And what’s wrong with complaining about the government and calling those dumb politicians negative nicknames? I’m sure that I could do a better job than them. And why should I feel bad for the times I stopped my teenagers from playing with those grubby brats from across the street? They lowered the tone of the neighbourhood, didn’t they? Not my fault their parents couldn’t afford to feed them. When I was their age, I had the sense to do better things with my time than polluting the atmosphere with unwashed clothes. You know, great stuff like, having my friends round for wild parties and getting a few girls pregnant. Oh, don’t get all high and mighty with me. They were just tarts who’d go with any man and if they were too stupid to protect themselves it was their own blooming fault. Anyway, I had always had lots of cash on me and would have been more than happy to pay for their abortions.  Look, I haven’t got time for all this introspection.

I’ve got a business to run because I want to be respected – looked up to – you know what I mean?  If I waste any more time listening to you, I won’t earn much money this week. I want lots of it, just like all the guys I admire. I can’t afford to get all caught up thinking about what you call it: my soul.

And death. Why oh why do these Christians always go on about dying? Morbid or what! It’s because they have such boring lives isn’t it? Deep down they are miserable with going to church and praying and being all so good. So, they long for their lives to end because there’s nothing to live for but singing horrible songs and reading that weird book. And what an ugly thing that is. Really tiny type and super-thin pages. They try to cover up its dreariness by adding leather covers and gold trims, but it’s still the dull old bible. Ha, I’m not surprised they want to die so much!

What? They don’t? They love life more than anyone and even rejoice when things go bad? Who does that? Who sings when they are sad and laughs when they are broken? They do? Really? So why is the ‘D’ word such a frequent topic of their conversations?

Oh, I see, it’s because they are not scared of dying. I guess that is very different from actually wanting to die. But why are they so calm about passing away? It scares me so much!

Pardon? You are wanting to know if I have life assurance? Yes, I do. It makes sense doesn’t it? I am a wise man who knows how to put things in place to protect myself for the future. I have house insurance, medical insurance, pet insurance, car insurance, holiday…wait a minute, are you changing the subject? We were talking about why your followers are so morbid.

Right, I’m beginning to understand now. I have made an effort to protect everything except the one thing that matters the most. My soul is more precious than these other things because it will live on after I…here we go again…die. So, are you saying that Christians have a kind of insurance policy that others haven’t got?

Okay, I suppose we all have to expire one day, but I’m not ready for it yet, so you’ll have to wait.

Did you just say… I have no control over when my time is up, and it could be today?

Umm…I’ve never thought of it like that but, well…it wouldn’t happen to me would it?

No disrespect to you God, but this is getting macabre and I’m not planning on going just yet, so leave me alone. Please!

You just want to have the last say, don’t you? What you’re telling me is making me feel uncomfortable to say the least.

So, you are telling me that if I continue to shut you out of my life you can’t be to blame for where I go after it has ended.

You mean Hell and all that? Isn’t that just make-believe to get people to become all wimpy and start going to church? You’re shaking you’re head again.

But why would I go to Hell?

Oh, I see. All those things I listed earlier are a result of mankind’s inherent evil nature and nobody can correct it by themselves. It is an indication that I am not what you call, saved and therefore you have no choice but to let me go the way I choose. Me? It is me who chooses to go to Hell? Oh. I used to think that it was just you being mean, like looking down and picking people out at random.

Phew, I’ve got a bit to learn then, haven’t I? Well, I suppose it will do no harm to listen to you for a bit longer. That’s if you will promise to not send me to that hot-hole downstairs.

I suppose this life is bad enough and if that other place is much worse, I’d better find out what I have to do to avoid going there.

Okay God, you got me, I’m listening, but if I hear anything that rocks my boat, I’m coming back at ya.